Are you a new parent silently struggling? You're not alone. This story reveals a hidden battle many face, and how speaking up can be the first step towards healing. New mum Marcelle Cooper, during a routine check-up with her family doctor, found herself painting a rosy picture of motherhood, concealing a deep well of anxiety and despair. She told her doctor that everything was wonderful with her six-month-old baby girl, but the truth was far more complex.
The following day, while at home with her baby Skye, the weight of her secret became unbearable. "I was bawling my eyes out," Marcelle recounts, "and I thought, 'That was my golden opportunity, why did I not say something then to my GP?'" This realization prompted a crucial phone call. "So, I picked up the phone and called the surgery, and told the receptionist, 'This is urgent – I am a struggling new mother, and I’m in a really dark place. Can you please have the GP call me back?'" Thankfully, her doctor responded swiftly, calling her back as soon as she finished with the current patient.
That phone call became a turning point, marking the beginning of Marcelle's journey to overcome postnatal anxiety and depression. It took immense courage to finally voice her struggles and seek the support she desperately needed.
Initially, the first three months after Skye’s birth were idyllic. Marcelle and her baby were both thriving, with Skye meeting all her developmental milestones. But around the 12-week mark, a dark cloud descended. Uncontrollable crying spells emerged “for no particular reason.” These were soon accompanied by relentless insomnia, a loss of appetite, and debilitating anxiety.
"I felt a panic feeling when my husband would leave the house in the morning," Marcelle explained, "and I knew I was going to be alone with the baby for the entire day and didn’t know what I was going to do with her." She also described an overwhelming sense of overthinking. "Even with simple everyday decisions I would overthink then it felt like no matter what decision I would make, it was going to disadvantage me, and the decision I’d make would be the wrong one." This led to a profound feeling of inadequacy. "It was a really awful feeling, because I felt like I couldn’t be the mother this beautiful baby deserves."
Having maintained a close relationship with her GP throughout her fertility journey, which included years of trying to conceive and enduring several miscarriages, Marcelle initially battled her anxiety and depression in silence for the first three months after Skye’s arrival. But here's where it gets controversial... Some might argue that new mothers should be able to cope with these challenges on their own or rely solely on family support. Others believe that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. What do you think?
Finally, Marcelle summoned the courage to confide in her GP. "I’m a wreck, I’m not coping, and I was too ashamed to tell you," she confessed. Her doctor immediately recognized the seriousness of the situation. "She could tell straight away it was serious … and talked me through some of my options," Marcelle said. This disclosure brought immediate relief. "It was an instant sense of, 'I’m not alone in this anymore', and having someone else to speak to about my feelings and my thoughts that wasn’t family, because I didn’t want to burden my family because they were trying so hard to support me already."
In addition to developing a mental health assessment plan and discussing potential medication, Marcelle's GP referred her to the Gidget Foundation, an organization that provides support for perinatal depression and anxiety. This referral provided her with access to 10 free sessions with a specialist clinician.
Starting with fortnightly appointments, Marcelle began to experience a gradual lifting of the weight she had been carrying. She also realized that she had access to the support she needed. "I felt like I was the only person in the world who had these thoughts and experiences, so knowing there was a network of professionals trained to help me was a real sense of relief," she admitted. "That was an eye opener for me, because I thought, maybe I’m not the only person who feels this crazy."
Recent data from the Gidget Foundation, although not yet published, reveals a concerning trend: more than a quarter of Australian parents are unaware of the mental health support available to them during the perinatal period. Furthermore, a third believe that their mental health symptoms are not severe enough to warrant professional help. And this is the part most people miss... Perinatal depression and anxiety are far more common than many realize.
According to statistics, perinatal depression and anxiety affects approximately one in five mothers and one in 10 fathers, impacting nearly 100,000 parents each year.
Dr. Ka-Kiu Cheung, Chair of RACGP Specific Interests Antenatal and Postnatal Care, emphasized the crucial role of GPs in identifying, supporting, and treating mental health conditions during the perinatal period. While access to timely care for new parents remains a challenge, GPs are uniquely positioned to provide assistance.
"GPs can regularly enquire about the mental wellbeing of both parents during the pregnancy and the postnatal period," she stated. "Framing these conversations as part of routine health checks can be helpful, and GPs can reassure families that adjustment to bringing home a newborn can include feelings of anxiety or mood changes – and that this is common." Dr. Cheung also highlighted the importance of continuity of care. "We provide continuity of care that spans well beyond the preconception, pregnancy and postnatal period. GPs often have a pre-existing relationship with patients and understand both the protective and risk factors that might impact their mental health."
Dr. Cheung further explained that GPs' routine screening is aided by their regular contact with both parents and the newborn in the first few months of life. "We can monitor how families bond and cope and provide information on both social and health supports," she said. "If mental health concerns are identified, GPs can screen for red flags whilst putting in place supports, offering treatment choices and providing referrals as required."
Now a proud ambassador for the Gidget Foundation, Marcelle is a strong advocate for early intervention and support during the perinatal and postnatal periods. While she acknowledges that recovery begins with talking, she wishes she had sought help sooner. "I was putting on a very brave face for a very long time," she confessed.
Marcelle also has a message for GPs and other healthcare professionals who interact with potential, expectant, and new parents. "Knowing that if GPs are there with open minds and it’s taken a lot of courage for their patients to come and ask for help – just being taken seriously is really important," she said. "I’m very grateful for my GP, she’s been amazing."
Marcelle suggests that standardized procedures could significantly improve outcomes. "I often wonder if it was standard procedure I would have done these sessions, I would have spoken to a professional," she said. "But because it was optional, by saying, 'I need help' it was almost like I was a failure, accepting defeat. I was too ashamed to accept that I couldn’t cope. And I wonder if I had had the support earlier, if my outcomes after Skye was born would be quite different because I would have been armed with the tools."
Marcelle's story highlights the importance of open communication, early intervention, and accessible mental health support for new parents. It also raises questions about the societal pressures and stigma that often prevent individuals from seeking help. Do you believe that healthcare systems are doing enough to support new parents' mental health? What changes would you like to see implemented? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
